SARCASM

                                 SARCASM

 Doctor - I have a good and bad news for you....

Patient - Aww... Tell me what is the good news
Doctor - I got you flowers
Patient - Wow.. So what is the bad news..
Doctor - They are for your grave


  • My mom entered my room and found me asleep
    She walked closer, caressed my hair and slapped my face saying:
    "Your last seen on whatsapp was 1 min ago"



  • I asked an old man: "Even after 95 years, you still call your wife 'Darling', 'Honey', 'Love'. What's the secret?".
    The old man replied: "I forgot her name 10 years ago and I'm scared to ask her       



  • Judge: why did police arrest you?
    Me: for shopping too early
    Judge: well, that's not a huge crime. anyway how early were you shopping?
    Me: before the shop opened    


  • Honestly I'm not happy, this morning I was setting a voice password on my phone.
    A dog barked in front of me and it ran away.
    Now am busy looking for that dog to unlock my phone.

  • One day, I asked my English Teacher, "Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation eg. the letter H ...in Hour, Honour. ...etc. ...??????
    My English Teacher said, " We are not ignoring them; they're considered silent ".......
    (I was even more confused .....?????)
    During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.
    I ate all the food and returned her the empty container. ....!!!!!!!
    My English Teacher : What happened? I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.
    I replied, "Ma'am , I thought 'H' was silent.



  • At a Motor Driving School:
    Officer: If you are driving fast
    and suddenly see your husband
    and brother walking in your way.
    What should you hit first?
    Lady: I will hit my husband!
    Officer: Mam, this is 3rd time I am telling you,
    you should hit the brake first..!!   



  • Medical College Professor to a girl student : "Which human body part expands 5 times its normal size...?" 😳😳😳
    Girl Student : "Sir I can't answer this question, it's too embarrassing...😔😔😔
    Professor asked the same question to a male student.
    Male Student : "It's the Pupil of a human eye..."👁
    Professor : "Correct."
    Then Professor turned to the female and said: "Listen lady , not only your thinking is wrong but your expectations are also very high...
    5 times is too much..

 

.  teacher: can you tell me two pronouns?
me : who? me?
teacher : correct, very good
me : you`re welcome


Teacher: Everyone who thinks they are stupid, stand upMe: *stand up*
Teacher: Ah, so we have one stupid person among us.
Me: Actually, It broke my heart to see you standing there alone
Teacher:


  •  Teacher: How was the Paper?
    Me: It was Easy. But question #4 confused me a lot 🤔
    Teacher: What was the Question?
    Me: What is the Past tense of "THINK"?
    I thought, and Thought and thought and at the end I wrote
    "THINKED"

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